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Mental Health Blog

06 | Nourishing Filipina/x Body Image in Community
Published: January, 12, 2025

Many Filipino/a/x individuals are familiar with their bodies and eating habits becoming an open topic of conversation during family gatherings. These experiences often begin with unsolicited and unavoidable remarks of tumaba ka (you’ve gained weight) or pumayat ikaw (you’ve lost weight) to ka-in ka pa (keep eating) or ang takaw ikaw (you’re gluttonous). The Filipino value of hiya, often translated in English as shame or propriety, can be elicited with these remarks. While hiya can sometimes foster humility that is meant to maintain respectful relationships in collectivist Filipino/a/x society, it can also be unconstructive when it creates an impossible bind between personal and collective wellbeing which is often the case with body shaming, and when it is oriented to a colonizer's forced standards of beauty. There is also the common objectification of the Filipina body for the experience of others contributing to less safety and authenticity in relationships.
 

Informed by their professional specialties and personal life experiences, two Filipina/x mental health professionals, Lauren and Tara, were asked to share their insights to expand conversations around body image to where they may actually be nurturing and supportive within our Filipino/a/x community. They also explore ways body image issues relate to disordered eating, women specific relational trauma, and prevailing colonial mentality. Tara Cristobal-Rivera, a Washington-based psychotherapist, nutritionist, and PhD candidate, focuses on addressing body image and disordered eating within the Filipino/a/x community and is an active participant in Kasamahan's consultation group. Lauren Funiestas, based in the Bay Area, has also participated in our consultation group and shares her unique perspectives in this blog. Lauren connects challenges with body image to her trauma therapy and coaching work with women, and her lived experience as a former personal trainer and bodybuilder.


Please be aware that this blog entry includes content that describes suicidal ideation and childhood sexual abuse. If you or you suspect someone may need support, please contact the Suicide or Crisis Lifeline at 988 or the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1 (800) 656-4673. Both are available 24/7.

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What would you like us to know about your professional mental health background and the therapy you provide?

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Lauren Funiestas, LMFT she/her
Trauma Therapist
Shadow Work Coach

Bay Area, CA
| Lauren Funiestas | @manang.lauren

 

I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and a Shadow Work Coach. Shadow Work is a therapeutic approach to healing wounds related to uncomfortable emotions such as shame, guilt, and rage, in addition to addressing wounds from early childhood. Alongside my mental health training, I have also served as a personal trainer, beginner's weightlifting coach, and sports nutritionist, following my short-lived career as an amateur bodybuilder.

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Tara Cristobal-Rivera, LMHC-A, MS, CN she/her
Licensed Mental Health Counselor Associate

Nutritionist
PhD Candidate

Washington State
| Tara Rivera | tara@mentecounseling.com

 

I am a licensed mental health counselor and certified nutritionist in Washington state, as well as a Ph.D. psychology candidate. Being multi-ethnic and growing up in San Diego, CA, I had the opportunity to interact with many diverse cultures. I am passionate about race, culture, socioeconomic, and equity issues due to my personal experiences and my ability to empathize with others’ experiences. The intersectionality of what makes us unique can also compound our lived experiences. I am committed to continuously learning about the impacts on marginalized communities and supporting those who are systemically oppressed.
 

My approach is to collaboratively work with individuals and meet them where they are on their physical and mental health journey. I provide a person-centered, humanistic, and collaborative approach when working with clients. I have found that there is no one-size-fits-all solution, and I focus on partnering with each individual to build body trust, respect, and compassion for themselves. This approach creates a more peaceful and joyous relationship with both ourselves and others. My goal is to support individuals on their healing journey and help them understand their life experiences.

What would you like to share about your Filipino/a/x background and identity?

Lauren: I am the daughter of two Ilocano parents from San Felipe, Zambales, on the island of Luzon. I am the middle child of the family and the only one who was born in the United States. My father was enlisted in the U.S. Air Force, so as a child, I moved over 10 times before finally settling in the U.S. at the age of 12. I strongly identify with the "American" part of my upbringing. I have the experience of being fully educated and immersed in the American education system from Kindergarten to Graduate School, despite having lived abroad for part of my childhood in the Philippines and Japan.

Tara: I am a daughter, wife, dog mom, sister, auntie, Nina, and Ate from San Diego, CA, now living in the greater Seattle area. I am a multiracial Filipina (4th generation), Mexicana, and Indigenous American. My Filipina grandmother's family immigrated from Cebu in the early 1920s to Hawaii as part of the Sakadas movement (Filipino agricultural workers) to work in the sugarcane plantations. My Filipino grandfather, from Pampanga, joined the U.S. Navy and served for 25 years as the Admiral's personal chef. My Filipino grandparents met in Hawaii, where my father was born, and eventually settled in San Diego, where I was born and raised. I was fortunate to live near the Little Manila neighborhood, where we would frequently visit Filipino restaurants, bakeries, and stores.

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With your lived experiences and work as a mental health professional, can you share what you would consider body image issues perhaps extending to disordered eating and other challenges that may need professional support?

Lauren: As a child and in my younger years, I never identified with having disordered eating, but I can identify with having body image issues. When I moved back to the U.S. in 1990, I entered kindergarten, where I became a spectacle to all the white kids. With my long curly island hair and dark caramel skin, at 5 years old, I was hyper-aware of eyes on me. The other girls in my class always asked to touch my hair, and the young boys would follow me around, offering me little gifts like pencils and erasers. The first experience I had of an older man commenting on my body (and essentially oversexualizing me) was in fourth grade when my math teacher commented that it was a great thing I was pretty since I was so horrible at math. This followed me into middle school and high school, with older male teachers making inappropriate comments about my looks.

I know that with body image issues, it is common to think of overweight or oversized folks or, on the other spectrum, very thin and frail women who undereat and overexercise and are embarrassed or ashamed of their physical appearance. The experience of being sexualized at a young age created a deep chasm in my relationship with my body. For a long time, I covered myself in baggy clothes, often dressing sloppily and avoiding hygiene to appear "less attractive" and so that I could go unnoticed. It came to the point where I overidentified with being a sexual object from age 13 to 34 years old just to cope with all the attention. My body image issues were wounds that projected onto my romantic relationships and led to consistent self-abandonment.

It wasn't until my late twenties and then again now in my early 40s, after having a child, that I have taken pride in my appearance without feeling guilt or shame. I have accepted what the Creator has blessed me with and have no problem calling out older men when they make inappropriate, sexualized comments about my body.

This rejection of the body, including its oversexualization, is harmful and something I see quite often in my practice and in my social circles. Women who have experienced hypersexualization at young ages are likely to experience an increased risk of chronic sexual abuse and tend to chase relationships based on superficial and highly sexual connections rather than intimacy and healthy love. Whether due to lack of control, confidence, or compartmentalization, poor body image at the intersection of sexualization can lead to suicidal ideation, depression, and high levels of anxiety.


 

Tara: Like Lauren, I never identified with having disordered eating behaviors in my younger years. In my early 20s, I moved from San Diego, CA, to Long Beach, CA, for college and found myself more immersed in fat-phobia culture. I noticed the obsessive behavior of other college students about working out and restricting food. I was primarily surrounded by other Asian women, who were typically in smaller and leaner bodies, while I was in a curvier body with wider hips. Due to my own insecurities, constantly comparing my body shape to others, and trying to live up to the body shape ideals of living in Southern CA, I began restricting my food and taking diet pills. I remember thinking that if I lost the weight, the happier I would be. But honestly, the more weight I lost, the unhappier I became, and the less I was becoming myself. I didn't recognize myself anymore, inside or out, and decided to move to Washington to make some healthier lifestyle changes. Fast forward to my 40s, I have a healthier relationship with my body and food. This mental shift did not happen overnight, and I am passionate about working with others along their own body and food healing journey.

As a mental health professional and certified nutritionist, primarily working with BIPOC women, I have seen patterns of women tying their worth and value to their body weight. Not only do I understand this from personal experience, but in doing this work, I realized that women are not set up for success in how society views our bodies and the unrealistic expectations of body shapes. I'd like to clarify that there are differences between disordered eating and eating disorders. Disordered eating is irregular eating behaviors such as restricting food, overeating, feeling guilt and shame around certain foods, and being preoccupied with body image or weight. These behaviors can negatively impact physical and mental health, but the frequency and severity determine whether they meet the diagnostic criteria. If these behaviors are severe and become life-threatening, they may be clinically diagnosed as an eating disorder, with specific categories such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, and others. If it is determined that an eating disorder is present, professional support is needed.


In my work addressing disordered eating and providing negative mental health impacts education, I also include culturally related education aspects relating to body image concerns. For instance, many of my Asian clients were bullied about their weight by family members. I highlight how many of these body image comments stem from expectations through societal beauty standards, colonial narratives, and systemic oppression that contribute to negative body image thoughts. Part of the work in developing healthier relationships with our bodies and food requires decolonizing our mindsets around beauty standards, breaking down the narratives around "good" vs. "bad" foods, redefining self-worth, and building reconnection with our body's intuitive self. Normalizing these conversations is key to breaking down intergenerational narratives and redefining what "health" means for each individual.

What aspects of Filipino/a/x families and communities do you notice may contribute to challenges with body image?

Lauren: From my experience, the biggest contributor to body image issues due to sexualization is the all-too-common but rarely spoken about Filipino attachment to patriarchal and colonial violence enacted onto young girls, specifically sexual violence. I have worked with and been in community with countless Filipino women whose body image issues began in childhood with a father, grandfather, uncle, brother, or family friend inappropriately forcing themselves onto their young bodies. The potential for toxicity increases when silence-keeping and enabling by elder Filipinas render that innocent child (acknowledging that young men also get sexually assaulted and can develop poor body image issues) in a state of vulnerability. I have heard stories of elder women victim-blaming, becoming jealous that the patriarch's attention has now turned to the youth, and/or extreme denial of the abuse entirely.

To cope with these initial wounds, Filipina women who have been sexually abused have an increased likelihood of disordered eating, hyper-training (going to the gym excessively despite energy levels), self-harm, or severe suicidal ideation due to the disconnection from their natural body and the loss of safety within that body.

Taking it even deeper, colonial violence is enacted on a macro level when we look at how the U.S. militarization of the Philippines, specifically around Subic Bay and Clark AFB (where my family is from), opened up routes for sex trafficking, turning young local women into commodities for "rest and relaxation." This enabling of imperialism and the forced sexual slavery of Filipino women reverberates throughout our communities, especially in the diaspora, when we consider our attitudes towards women of all ages, sex workers, and women who achieve a sense of sexual liberation.


 

Tara: As mentioned earlier, many of my clients, specifically within the Filipina/o/x community, have been bullied or have frequently heard comments about their body weight from family members. Although the intent of the comments may be concerns for one's health or simply bringing weight humor into the conversation, the family normalizing body shaming is still hurtful to the individual. When attending a family gathering, it is common to hear phrases like "tumaba ka" (you've gained weight) or "pumayat ka" (you've lost weight). An individual may feel shame and guilt, and then the family proceeds to tell them to eat—which may be followed by more critiques about how much or how little they ate. The conflicting messaging around needing to be hospitable and eat, while being criticized for weight gain, can be a very jarring experience.

Due to the Philippines' colonial history and colonial mentality, there is a tendency to prefer Western beauty standards, which include lighter skin color and thinness. We tend to place a moral value on physical appearance, which may translate to how we perceive success. Additionally, many Asian families do not discuss mental health concerns due to stigma, or these concerns are often minimized, which can make it difficult for individuals to seek help. Although I have personally had these experiences, as have many of my clients and friends, I do want to preface that these experiences should not be generalized for all Filipina/o/x communities.

 

Are there Filipino/a/x specific resources or those specific to families and communities that may support healing?

Lauren: I find comfort in watching other Filipino women promote their own bodies as forms of art, beauty, and physical acumen. I went into bodybuilding to learn how to build muscle and then built a community of other women who also found joy in the weight room. In addition, I have learned from holistic nutritionists, energy healers, and hilots from the Filipino community about best practices for physical self-care. Currently, I practice moving my body in flow and sensuality through women's dance classes, including heels classes, pole dancing, and stretch courses that allow me to return to my body with safety and support.
 

The most impactful healing practice for body issues was not from my individual learning process but from engaging in a community where my experience as a Filipina woman, a woman of color living in the U.S., and a woman aware of her sexual power was not only recognized but exalted.
 

Tara: For broader resources, the National Asian American Pacific Islander Mental Health Association or Kapwa Health Collective can be great cultural mental health resources to start with. If needing more personalized support, I'd recommend working with a mental health professional who is culturally aligned and can support you through your own experiences. Other ideas for supporting healing from disordered eating and negative body image thinking include challenging negative body image thoughts by reframing what you don't like about your body and transitioning self-talk to gratitude for what your body does for you—for example, "My body allows me to get up in the morning and walk my dog."

You can limit body comparisons by curating your social media feed and television shows that promote body diversity and positivity. Surround yourself with supportive people and others who may be going through similar experiences. When ready, you can also ask family or friends not to make comments about your body and share that you are in the process of creating a healthier relationship with your body and food.

 

Do you have knowledge as a mental health professional that you would you like to share that is related to the issues you have defined?

Lauren: My best advice for those who struggle with sexual trauma and body issues is to:

 

  1. Share your story with people you love, trust and who support you. You do no have to be isolated in your shame. Heal out loud, as they say.
     

  2. To move your body consistently whether its through taking long walks, working out at a gym, getting into martial arts or trying out pole dancing. Movement is what connects you to the life giving force of your body.
     

  3. Watch how you talk to yourself. Even if the outside world cannot hold space for your natural body, it doesn't mean that you have to believe the nasty things Patriarchy, Capitalism and Colonialism has to say about it. There is so much love out there in the world but we have to start with the love that we show ourselves first.

Tara: One of the key elements in healing our relationship with our bodies and food comes from understanding the root causes of disordered eating and negative body image concerns, which can include trauma (e.g., sexual abuse, colonial trauma), Westernized beauty standards, diet culture, or narratives around cultural foods. Unpacking the root causes can help determine your healing path. Education around body neutrality and the negative impacts of dieting can help individuals break away from diet culture thinking.
 

Lastly, observe how you talk to yourself. Research shows that the average person has about 60,000 thoughts per day, and about 90% of those thoughts are repeated. Imagine if 90% of those repetitive thoughts are about negative body image concerns—we are becoming our own worst bully.

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Do you have anything else that you would like to share?

Lauren: As a survivor, I have learned that my sexual trauma and body issues do not confine me. Despite my history, I still lead a joyful, satisfying, and purposeful life because I allowed myself to face the shadows, feel and release the emotional residue, and made working on my health (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual) a top priority. It is not easy, but it is absolutely possible to heal your body image issues and feel good in your skin.

Tara: Everyone's experience with disordered eating and body image concerns varies. These are complex issues that stem from decades of intergenerational trauma and systemic oppression. Recognize that these issues run very deep and may take some time to unpack. Have compassion and empathy for yourself, and know that this healing journey is not a linear process. It helps to come from a place of curiosity instead of a place of judgment, not only with yourself but also with others who have similar struggles. 

You may learn more about Lauren and Tara's work through their websites.
Lauren also has an active Instagram account, and Tara may be emailed directly.

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