Kasamahan
Nonprofit community enriching Filipino/a/x mental healthcare
Mental Health Blog
Racquel “Rocky” Valencia Hays, LCSW, CADC learned about, what is now known as, Kasamahan before it was established as a nonprofit in 2023, and met as a smaller group of Filipino mental health professionals in 2021 in the Chicago, IL area. Since then, Rocky participates through our monthly consultation group and annual social events. When asked about her yearly participation, she shared that time with those who understand both Filipino culture and providing mental healthcare is restorative as a clinician.
To improve representation in our Mental Health Blog to reflect the Filipino/a/x community, and aligned with Rocky’s lived and clinical experience, this entry centers around how her Catholic background, and how spirituality may inform her work in providing inclusive and holistic mental healthcare.
Rocky, a seasoned therapist and social worker, shares how connecting with others on religion and spirituality may actually reduce guilt and shame, and support agency and free will.
13 | Catholicism and Spirituality in Therapy: A Filipina Therapist Perspective
Published March 2, 2026
What would like us to know about your professional mental health background and the therapy you provide?
Racquel Valencia Hays, LCSW, CADC she/her
Psychotherapist
Mount Prospect, Illinois
A clinician for over 25 years, I began my journey as an Occupational Social Worker. I provided consultation and counseling for companies. They were large and I often collaborated with internal departments to create policies such as Domestic Violence Policy in the Workplace, providing training and critical incident stress debriefing. Then in 2016, I went into private practice and have not left it since.
I enjoy my work with clients who have aspirational transformation of their lives; whether it’s about their relationship with themselves and others or their struggles with the trauma and challenges they have faced in their lives. My work helps to improve their quality of life. It’s transformative and I like to see people grow and shed their exoskeleton, renewed and invigorated.
In addition, I am also an adjunct faculty member and Practicum Coordinator at Wilbur Wright College with the Addiction Studies Program. I feel joy mentoring and helping those who like to seek knowledge and enhance their learning!
I believe in client’s resiliency. I am amazed by their ability to tap into this as I serve as a conduit for them to unleash it!
What would you like to share about your Filipino/a/x background and identity?
I was born in Seattle to two students from the Philippines who fell in love; one studying at University of Washington and the other, just out of college from Far Eastern University in Manila and was also in Seattle taking pastry classes at a culinary school.
My mother’s side of the family slowly immigrated to Seattle, my dad’s side of the family, to Los Angeles.
After university, my father had a job offer that he couldn’t refuse and wanted to return to the Philippines: working for a European Company that had a branch back home! When I was about 1 year old, my parents took me to the Philippines and there I lived for about 11 years.
In those formative years, I was also told I was an “Americana”. This didn’t mean anything to me at the time.
“Am I privileged?”
“Am I special?”
“What is the big deal?- I’m browner than my siblings”
These are my thoughts growing up.
Our neighbors were expats from Europe-for a time until I turned 7. My best friend’s name was Brigite from Germany. These first few years of my life in the Batangas influenced me greatly as to the cultural variety that exists in the world!
What would you like to share about your lived experience with religion and spirituality?
I ended up going to a Catholic all girls schools in Manila, firstly at St. Scholastica then at St. Paul.
St. Scholastica was great foundationally to learn above virtues and values of how to be a proper Catholic from ages 6-8. There was a lot of freedom that I felt studying there. That school highlighted culture and I loved it.
I watched American movies such as Bambi, or Aspercel with Kurt Russell, and the Red Shoe. I went to student lead concerts (higher level students from high school to college). I participated in as much fun things that I can. I was cloistered but didn’t feel stifled. I had freedom to go from one campus to the other (high school and college) without reprimand or ridicule or bullying.
I experienced a death of a classmate from cancer. I was in first grade. That’s about the only time I remember the school forced us to attend mass was to honor her. I remember thinking, uninformed, "Why is she bald"?
St. Paul’s was a different story: this was from 9-11 years old. It was rigorous, it was disciplined, it was strict, it was regimented, it was hot (no aircon). There were many rules (all of a sudden), and time for prayers was sanctioned by teachers and the school itself. There was a statue of the Virgin Mary in our corridor across my classroom, and we had to pray a lot in front of her and do the Rosary.
There was a deep sense of fear and guilt that I was learning about being a Catholic in this school.
I won a Bible trivia contest. I was deep into my religious studies. There were also highlights of culture that celebrated being Filipino. I learned about Mazurka and that is with mass dance (so many students doing the same thing). There were demerit cards if you wore your skirt uniform above the knee, or if your socks were below the ankle. You can’t make noise if you are going up and down the stairs. You were subjected to a lot of discipline.
By the time I went to the US and went to third Catholic school, St. Ita, (1981-1983) I was ready to go to the convent! But then, in this Catholic School, I also discovered boys.
On a Filipino-founded religion outside of Catholicism within her Filipino family
My younger siblings were left for a few years in Manila and were raised by my Lolo and Lola in a multi-generational household including 2 other sets of families plus the maids, “Yayas”. A few years after my mom and I left the Philippines, the whole family in this household was converted to “Iglesia Ni Cristo” without a discussion or permission from my mom.
What precipitated this was a marriage of my aunt (Tita), who was Catholic, to a member of INC and this was a condition she agreed to. To show support, the whole family went with it. My siblings, barely in their teens, got swept up with it. Such is the power of religion and transaction! It changes the whole dynamic of the family.
Years later, when my siblings with my Lola joined our lives in Chicago, this religion followed them with such tenacity. Lola was the enforcer of my two siblings going to church not just every Sunday but another time of the week: to dress the part (women and girls where always to wear skirts or dresses below their knees). My Lola said that in their church, both sexes sat separately.
When the appearance of my siblings and their involvement with the church was quickly waning, they were visited by the “Deacons and Deaconess”; frequently in our home. I think It benefited my aging Lola. No one member of our family drove her to church anymore. But it also benefited the church to maintain its members. Their visits reinforced the power of the sanction for the younger members.
However, this all ended when my siblings finally renounced this religion and decided to be Catholic once more!
I give credit to my mom who never forced them to go back to the religion in which they were originally baptized in. She let them decide to do what’s best for them. I just observed and occasionally heard the discomfort my siblings had for the whole ordeal of having INC forced down on them.
I continue to be exposed to different cultures and different socio-economic backgrounds as it is part of who I am, intrinsically, I love learning from others, even those with differing experiences than me. I think this is due to exposure early on that I could be comfortable with anyone different than me. But this leads me to the following question below.
What would you like to share regarding your work with clients in exploring their religion and spirituality, and how do these explorations support mental health?
I wanted Santo Niño from my mom at the onset of staring my private practice. I’ve gone to several Filipino establishments in Chicago, and I noticed that they had a Santo Niño adorned with gifts (candies, spare change). I wanted to have a similar vibe. It means good blessings and gratitude for the life and the practice I have.
From my Mom, I got a Buddha statute instead. She couldn’t find where to buy Santo Niño.
This statue is called “Ratablos” or “Santos” that are cultural artifacts were symbolically handed by the Spanish throughout the 400 years of colonial rule, that gave the Philippine Islands Catholicism.
So I have this Buddha in my office instead.
I believe in the power of symbolism; through art or artifacts. This Buddha is cheerful looking, friendly, and exuberant. And I believe I’m partly Chinese although I have not verified through 23andMe.
I’m not a Buddhist and I’m a terrible Catholic. I have not gone to confession since 8th grade. I believe that sometimes, something intangible is what I can give and share to others. I feel centered, calm, and ready to help with its presence. Centeredness or that energy is transferred onto the clients that occupy my space.
Yes, thanks to my Buddha. My clients may be atheist, agnostics or non Catholics, but they don’t mind the Buddha that sits on my bookshelf. They largely ignore it. They are there to see me, after all.
How do you stay open to the religion and spiritual beliefs of your clients while staying grounded with your own? What can therapists do to reduce their countertransference if they are meeting with a client of a different or even the same religion or spiritual belief system?
A particularly challenging client with lots of trauma or complex issues can be guided through spiritual means and this is a conversation I may have with them. It’s not about religion. It’s about spirituality. I don’t attempt to open up this discussion if it’s not where the leanings of the client in front of me is that they may have uttered in passing or more concretely.
Clients’ discussion about spirituality or their belief comes from them. Spirituality is highly individualistic and I make sure my client is attuned to their own spirituality before we go on a deeper dive. Spirituality here is a means to ground clients to help them cope with another day that is daunting, a struggle, or worsens a mental health issue. I reference the “Serenity Prayer” adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous in 1941.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference."
It’s meditative and it’s about giving up that perceived control and trying to harness those things that one can control, your own agency to your reactions to life challenges. If your reactions are maladaptive such as addictions, self-harm, sabotage or isolation, I’m there for further conversations that could lead to healing.
Then if clients are likely to believe in Saints, I turn their attention to St. Dymphna born in Ireland, the Patron Saint of Mental Health born in the 7th century.
Her story is sorrowful: her mom passed away when she was young and her dad, in grief, mourned her passing so severely. I would say that he had complicated grief plus more as the solution would have been to marry his 14-year-old daughter. She refused and ran away along with others who didn’t approve of this plan. She fled to Belgium and there she was found by her father after extensive search. She had made a vow of chastity and her father’s pleading would not convince her. She was killed by his own hands: beheaded. Talk about Oedipus Complex! Her father had become mentally ill. She was canonized.
"Catholics become canonized due to their strong belief in God and the Virgin Mary despite the obstacles such as being a subject of incense and abuse (yes, it is implied that this could have been happening), and a murderous father. There is an implication that she never lost hope and faith. She was martyred as a result of her death and she was seen as an innocent lamb". (Source: Catholic Mental Health Ministries).
Saints sometimes have a "vision" of Mary or God in their deep devotion to them, and Gell Belguim has a church in her name and honor where pilgrims who are struggling with mental health issues have come over centuries. Some say that there were miracles as a result of this.
I believe that by the time one has the capacity to see clients and they have the ability to heal and help people make the changes their clients want, it’s valuable to be able to really support the client where they are at, not the other way around. This is how I check my countertransference.
In terms of their transference, the nuance of spirituality is interspersed in microbursts that it is more innocuous and not front facing right away. The difference, I believe if they were to have strong transference about religion, is if I advertise or utilize religion because I am a pastoral therapist. I’m not and they know that up front.
Do you have any thoughts on trends with Catholicism, religion, and spirituality and Filipino/a/x mental healthcare?
Remember, I’m a bad Catholic. I don’t follow the trends. I don’t even go to church. It’s a hard question to answer as we are disparate people in the US. There are not one or two people with enough cult of personality who can unite us. Well, maybe Pacquiao, Eala or Sofronio?
My lens and experience come from one region of the Philippines, it’s not from Bicol, Mindoro or Palawan. We have so much uniqueness and our religion is varied. I believe there isn’t enough research about the importance of religion and spirituality in the Filipino/a/x community.
Do you have anything else you would like to share?
Before I close, I would like to share that working with clients who were in a religious cult is very difficult and highly specialized. I am not that. So it is very seldom, in my practice that we focus on religion as much as spirituality. From Filipino clients, I do welcome tokens of gratitude from them when they give me religious symbols; like a Christmas Nativity set when we close the case. They pick up that energy or my intention of grounding through spirituality and they show their appreciation. It does come full circle!
I thank you for the opportunity to contribute to this blog. It just affirms who I am and my pride to be able to help our Kababayans when the call is there, at time, using spirituality and the valor of spiritual rolemodels such as St. Dymphna!
Editor's note: When asked to integrate specifics of her clinical experience into this entry, Rocky shared she may provide more insight related to working with the elderly, and separately gambling addiction with a Filipino mental healthcare lens in the future; finding more time is needed to organize and speak on these important topics.
We support Filipino/a/x mental health conducted research via our Research Corner and Resource Library. Perhaps you or someone you know has research or resources related to the importance of religion and spirituality in the Filipino/a/x community.
This entry was edited and published by Eliza Jade Brown, LCSW-S
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Racquel “Rocky” Valencia Hays, LCSW, CADC is available for contact through her website, humanresiliencetherapy.com